This morning I was listening to Karly Randolph Pitman's "Growing Human Kindness" which is a program about conquering sugar addiction.  I had gone through the program about three years ago and was successful, then lost my way and then lost myself.  The losing of myself also included not having any physical activity and eating in a totally messy way.  But in listening to the program today I realized that I have not been defining the problem correctly.  The problem is NOT that I am lazy, stupid, inept, (fill in the blank) - but the problem is that I do not show enough kindness toward myself and that I do not think I am worthy enough of showing love and kindness toward myself.

When I am motivated to eat correctly and to exercise (DDPY, walking, or anything else) it comes from a place of lack and hatred.  "Stop eating that way, stupid.  Start exercising you lazy &*#$*"  Nothing is working toward a lasting solution because I am not defining the problem correctly.  

What would a solution look like if I correctly define the problem?  Would I yell at my 2-year old granddaughter to DO IT? Do it ALL AT ONCE?  (Picture yelling at a child to ride a two wheel bike immediately and perfectly without training wheels.  Picture yelling at a child to SWIM after throwing her in the deep end.  Or even, picture yelling at a seedling to GROW GROW YOU STUPID SEEDLING!)  NO - I would hold her and guide her and not let go until she is ready.  I would soothingly reassure her and be so happy and clap when she can ride or swim on her own.  

In translating this for myself, I would define the problem as needing more love, guidance and reassurance, and I would use DDP's SMACK DOWN technique for goal setting:

S:    Specific
M:   Measurable
A:    Achievable
C:    Compatible
K:    Keep it going

D:    Do it
O:    Own it
W:   Write it down
N:    NOW

AND, further - I would motivate myself towards these goals from a place of love and kindness, not from a place of slave-driving hatred.  I would follow my goals because they would bring me to a place of health and well being - which is what you want for someone you love. 

 When I used to teach dancing and brought my students to the level of their first public performance, I would teach how to grown self-confidence.  I would teach the principle of "AS IF" - Dance AS IF you are not scared. Dance AS IF  you will remember all the steps.  Dance AS IF you are a star.  If you believe in AS IF it will become truth.

So here is my AS IF statement (thank you Hungry for Change):

Eat like

you love yourself.

Move like

you love yourself.

Speak like

you love yourself.

Act like

you love yourself.

Take away:  SMACK DOWN AND LOVING MYSELF.